I Had a Dream

 The back of the throne continues.

Hi, my name is Cliff and I have just got a new job. (cheers and applause) Yes, thank you, I appreciate that. I now represent "Clifton Cutting Utensils, Sundry Swords and Knives Co. Ltd." and (crowd breaks in with more hoots and cheers.) ...so I was wondering if you wouldn't mind me practising my sales pitch on you. (crowd hollers and fist pumps with joy...) I step back and just stand there working to get my "game face" on, focusing....thinking, "What the heck is that first line they taught me? The one that once I get started will help me remember the whole routine kind of line...OK I think I got it..." 

So have you had this constant nagging problem of your swords and knives breaking, or getting dull or not just not available when you need them...one...it? (crowd gives smattering of yes's etc.) Yes, well, I understand completely.

Let me show you this amazing collection of knives...I struggle to pick up, lift and hold up the surprisingly large and heavy nicely decorated box holding all the knives and swords, wow did I say it was heavy? The first thing that happens is the weight of the metal breaks open the bottom of the box and with a very loud crash, they all fall out onto the floor! I have to actually stumble, I mean jump out to the way to avoid getting impaled to to floor by these great, high quality, sharp cutting instruments, What a disaster!

"I'm so sorry, so sorry..." I mumble as I'm trying to gather up all these beautiful, shiny cutting instruments that I am hoping to sell. The crowd so understanding, cheers me on as I'm now looking for a piece of cloth...paper towelling...some-
thing...anything as in the panic
I have cut myself pretty good on one of the razor sharp swords... 

I pull out my shirt-tail thinking this should do for now...

In desperation, I finally just kick the pile of bloody swords and knives into kind of a pile to the side.

Meanwhile I'm holding my cut finger to keep it from spouting blood, fumbling with the shirttail to put pressure on the cut, deciding to use my thumb and the shirttail to pressure-stop the flow...

OK, I must continue...I think I can continue...so with my free hand I bring out my tomato! 

Exactly, what do you know...to sell a sword you still have to use the tomato trick...right...you know, to illustrate how incredibly sharp these things really are...

I suddenly realise I only have one hand that works, the other is out with an injury, and is in the emergency ward, connected to my now bloody shirttail which is squeezed between my thumb and injured finger, slowing down, sort of, the flow of blood from my bleeding finger!

I lay the "very red" tomato onto the TV tray I brought from home. I got it for an amazing price 15 years ago from a very handy discount store in the neighbourhood, you know, the basic flimsy cardboard top with these thin metal legs you fold out. The crowd to my surprise, is going simply mad with laughter and hoots as I lay the "red" tomato on the TV tray... (I never noticed how red these things are before!)

With the crowd going so crazy, I'm looking around to see what is so funny! Of course, I have to check first of all, to see if my fly is open, nope. I'm thinking it must be the blood. What do you know, It's become a 'blood-sport' now? Wow, crowds are so fickle...

I turn to the pile of swords and knives on the floor. Blood is now showing up everywhere. I guess my finger is still bleeding, I can see blood on my pants, the crotch area, the pant leg...

The crowd is now standing....yelling...chanting..."use the big sword, use the big sword..." I'm having some trouble with my vision, I'm thinking I'm going to have to have my glasses checked...I'm having trouble choosing a sword, I think I'm seeing double...most strange though is I'm also "seeing red"...I'm bending over to grab one of the red swords...

For some strange reason, everything goes black...

"He said to them, "Listen to the dream I had..."
Genesis 37:6