First, I have been asked
to share my forgiveness journey on Oct. 11th at a day of lectures on
the subject on “Forgiveness and Mental Health, a Stepping Stone to Recovery”.
This is organised by the “Eden Mental Health Centre”, a faith based
organisation located in Winkler MB. This centre includes an acute care mental
health treatment facility, residential care services and supported housing,
counselling services, as well as a vocational assessment and training for
individuals with employment barriers.
The keynote speakers
include Dr. David Weaver-Zercher who is a professor from a college in Pennsylvania
and has co-authored the book “Amish Grace:
How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy.” It’s about the multiple murders in
the Amish school and how they went about forgiving so quickly.
The second keynote speaker
is Dr.Randy Goossen who is the Director of Community Mental Health and an
assistant professor at the U of Manitoba. He also has a special interest in spirituality
and mental health. He has travelled and worked in various third world countries
including Rwanda and Haiti.
I am very excited about
this subject, as I have learned from my own personal experience that my
unforgivness and subsequent decisions to forgive definitely affected the health
of my mental state of mind. Whenever I refused to forgive, my mind would
continue to do nothing but think negatively about the unfair event or treatment
I felt I’d received. Because of my spiritual background and experience I would
bury these as best I could but, usually in another stressful situation the
buried anger would boil to the surface. Then someone else would get the brunt
of it. Reactions way over the top for the situation at hand. In time this buried
anger would turn into bitterness, thoughts solidifying about how bad I’d been
treated, this included ideas about revenge. Because I had this stuff boiling just below
the surface I lived in fear of when it would show itself. And it did at the
most inopportune times. Triggered by usually very little things. My
relationships began to deteriorate. On my part I would be withdrawing because I
could not trust myself and secondly, others were becoming aware of that
unpredictable guy, and would begin to avoid me also. With the fear and
isolation, negativity continued to grow and fester. Hurts began to pile up...a
bad downward cycle that I realised would not have a good ending. Clarity of
mind for life, relationships and decision making become a real issue.
Only forgiveness can solve
this downward spiral of a mind going crazy. The sad thing I discovered was that
I was suffering and the one’s I thought had offended me were totally unaware
and living, at least as far as I could see, a great life. Meanwhile, I was
falling apart! There was something wrong with this picture.
Forgiving is hard work, It doesn't seem natural or even make sense, but it is worth it. It is the greatest
gift of freedom from a debilitating life of anger, bitterness and rage one can
find. I am a satisfied customer and recommend it to everyone!
I will also be bringing a
few of my art pieces to the event.
I am a “little concerned”
that after I've shared my story these mental health practitioners will gently
take me away and I’ll end up in a padded cell somewhere. Stay tuned, I may need
support for my release!
This event will take place
Oct. 11, at the Bergthaler Mennonite Church in Winkler, registration begins at
8:15am and the event goes from 9am to 4pm.
The second event will
happen on the evening of the 12th. This is a fundraiser for Inner City Youth Alive here
in Winnipeg. Wilma will be the speaker and I will be displaying my artwork. It
will take place at the Caboto Centre on Wilkes Ave.
I would so appreciate it
if you might send up a prayer or two on my behalf. This is going to have to be
a God thing.
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many
times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times,
but seventy-seven times.”
Mathew 18:21-22.
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